Interfering mother-in-laws cause sadness
December 5, 2008
Researchers in the UK conducted a study on the relationship between a mother in-law and daughter in-law and found it is the root causes of many family conflicts. Friction between the two can resulting in long term unhappiness and stress to their daughters in-law who accuse the elder women of showing unreasonable jealousy and maternal love towards their sons.
The Daily Telegraph quoted lead researcher Terri Apter as saying,
“Mother In-law and daughter in-law conflict emerges from an expectation that each is criticising or undermining the other. But this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female norms that few of us manage to take off completely.’
Mr. Terri added:
“As they struggle to achieve the same position in the family as primary woman, each tries to establish or protect their status; each feels threatened by the other.”
Interviewing, hundreds of families, for her new book, ‘What Do You Want From Me?” he found that over two-thirds of women said their husband’s mother caused them anxiety while the mother in-law complained they were isolated by their daughters in-law.
More often the researchers found disputes starting over simple matters like who is more aware about issues such as cooking and the welfare of the child.
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2 Responses to “Interfering mother-in-laws cause sadness”
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My partner’s parents are really doing my head in, as well as my partner’s. He is fed up of his parents interfering and I am pissed off with them criticising me and slagging off my parents. It’s totally out of order. He has told them upteen times to back off but they don’t listen – I’ve been close to ripping their heads off but he stops me, saying that me blowing a gasket will only make the situation worse. I don’t know what to do.
My mother in law has a problem in always interfering when im doing housework -either stating im doing this wrong, or i should do it this way or that way… it always leads back to the way she does things and she wants me to do everything the same way as her. She thinks im a child and that i dont know how to do the simplest of tasks like washing the clothes. (which she insists should only go on spin)
Its really getting to me and my husband is totally unapproachable in matters relating to his mother as he see’s it as an over reaction on my part and that she is just offering advice and i should stop being ungrateful! If i wanted advice i’d ask for it!
She lives with us – which is the ultimate nightmare!